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| | Category: | Judge jokes | | Date Added: | 11/10/2007 | | Views: | 33 | | | | Joke: | A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasnt true."Im as sober as you are, your honor," the man claimed.The judge replied, "Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days." | | | |
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| 1. | Category: Judge jokes  | | Judge: Are you married?A. No, Im divorced.Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?A. A lot of things I didnt know about.... more
| | 2. | Category: Judge jokes | | The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?""I do.""Now what do you say to defend yourself?""Your Honor, under those limitations... nothing."... more
| | 3. | Category: Judge jokes | | The judge said to his dentist: "Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."... more
| | 4. | Category: Judge jokes | | Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer.Justice: A decision in your favor.... more
| | 5. | Category: Judge jokes | | When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation saidshe was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I havewaited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiledwith delight. "Now sit... more
| | 6. | Category: Judge jokes  | | Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?"Defendant: "Yes, its true."Judge: "Then, why dont you just pay him back?"Defendant: "Because it wouldnt be true anymore."... more
| | 7. | Category: Judge jokes | | A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. Ive known you since you were a yo... more
| | 8. | Category: Judge jokes | | It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him. The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the other car and said, "Boy, are you in trouble. Im a lawyer!"The... more
| | 9. | Category: Judge jokes | | Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, "You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers."The man thought for a moment. "What are peers?" he asked."Theyre people just like you your equals... more
| | 10. | Category: Judge jokes | | Judge to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?"Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?"Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."... more
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