Viewing Joke:
| | Category: | Judge jokes | | Date Added: | 11/10/2007 | | Views: | 25 | | | | Joke: | A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. Ive known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, youve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think youre a rising big shot when you havent the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"She again replied, "Why, yes I do. Ive known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. Hes lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man cant build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, youll be jailed for contempt!" | | | |
 Add to del.icio.us
 Digg this
 Reddit
|
|
More Judge Jokes:
|
| 1. | Category: Judge jokes  | | The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?""I do.""Now what do you say to defend yourself?""Your Honor, under those limitations... nothing."... more
| | 2. | Category: Judge jokes | | Judge: Are you married?A. No, Im divorced.Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?A. A lot of things I didnt know about.... more
| | 3. | Category: Judge jokes  | | Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?Defendant: No, I did not.Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?Defendant: Yes, I do. And theyre a hell of a lot better than the penalty for murder.... more
| | 4. | Category: Judge jokes | | Judge: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?A: All my autopsies are on dead people.... more
| | 5. | Category: Judge jokes | | People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.... more
| | 6. | Category: Judge jokes | | The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, "I dont recognize this court!""Why?" asked the Judge."Because youve had it decorated since the last time I was here."... more
| | 7. | Category: Judge jokes | | Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement, is that correct?A: Yes.Judge: And these same stairs, did the also go up?... more
| | 8. | Category: Judge jokes | | What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!... more
| | 9. | Category: Judge jokes | | How is a judge like an English teacher?They both hand out long sentences.... more
| | 10. | Category: Judge jokes | | Judge to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?"Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?"Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."... more
|
Copyright
2006-2008 TheJokesNetwork.com All rights reserved. Privacy Policy. | 