| 1. | Category: Aviation jokes  | | United Airlines FA: "Ladies and Gentlemen, as you are all now painfully aware, our Captain has landed in Seattle. From all of us at United Airlines wed like to thank you for flying with us today and please be very careful as you open the ov... more
| | 2. | Category: Aviation jokes | | From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this aircraft..."... more
| | 3. | Category: Aviation jokes | | After the first takeoff of the fully automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic pilot. In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is absolutely i... more
| | 4. | Category: Aviation jokes | | After the first takeoff of the fully automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic pilot. In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is absolutely i... more
| | 5. | Category: Aviation jokes  | | Southwest Airlines makes humor a high priority. Here are some actual humorous statements by airline flight crews: "Good morning. As we leave Dallas, it`s warm, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing. We are going to Charlotte, where... more
| | 6. | Category: Aviation jokes | | Once as Laloo was coming out of airport, there was huge rush and the security guard told him, "Wait Please." To which Laloo replied, "65 kgs," and moved on.... more
| | 7. | Category: Aviation jokes | | ATC: "Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions? " Cessna: "To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating." ATC: "I meant in the next five minutes not years."... more
| | 8. | Category: Aviation jokes | | An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "... more
| | 9. | Category: Aviation jokes | | An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. During the final days at Denvers old Stapleton airport,... more
| | 10. | Category: Aviation jokes | | Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered... more
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